A perk of contributing to a collected
work is making contact with the other contributing writers. One way I like to
explore those new connections is to invite fellow contributors to write a guest
post here, and at the same time (let's face it, for every perk, there's a
payout) bring attention to the book to which we've contributed. So for the next couple of weeks, I'll
periodically feature a post from another writer whose work also appears in Women
Writing on Family: Tips on Writing, Teaching and Publishing, edited by
Carole Smallwood (The Key Publishing House/Canada).
Please
welcome Jenn Brisendine
I
love the theatre. I spent more on hours onstage and backstage in college than
reading all the works assigned in my English major. When I taught high school literature
and writing, I also directed school plays. One semester I designed and taught a
fiction writing elective, and many student actors signed up. Teaching them how
to craft natural, dramatic dialogue was exciting—we likened their story
characters to actors in a play, and I encouraged them to first “direct” the
sound and appearance of the scene on an imaginary stage, complete with props,
actions, and cues.
When
I write dialogue now—fiction or creative nonfiction—I don’t just compose the
conversation; I "direct" the dialogue as a theatre director coaches a
scene for emotion and meaning. The director listens for emphasis of certain
words, but also suggests pauses, inflections, vocalizations, movement, and
nonverbal action. Similarly, a writer can control a scene of dialogue in ways
that enhance its significance and mood.
We
writers have great devices at our disposal, including punctuation, pauses, and
action tags. Punctuation is a tiny tool that wields great impact on dialogue:
“I’m leaving, and
you are too.” (With a comma, there’s barely a
pause.)
“I’m leaving. And
you are too.” (Now
it’s a period, and a much stronger break.)
“I’m leaving? And
you are too?” (The meaning has changed.)
“I’m leaving! And
you are too!” (Wow! Use exclamation marks
sparingly!)
“I’m leaving. And
you…” (Trailing off indicates uncertainty or
distractedness.)
“I’m leaving. And
you–-” (The speaker is interrupted.)
Pacing the scene with pauses adjusts the sound of
the dialogue to your reader’s ear:
“Would you sit
down?” He hesitated. “I have something to tell you.”
With action tags, you can pace the scene, adjust the
mental sound of it, and let slip a tidbit of characterization:
“Would you sit
down?” He sipped the bourbon and waited for the burn to fade. “I have something
to tell you.”
I
often write important scenes in play format first, to focus on the characters’ words:
Barney: If you’d sit down for ten seconds, maybe I’d
know what you’re talking about.
Alicia: Why should I believe a word out of you?
Barney: Because I’m your husband. Or did you forget
that in New York too?
Alicia: That’s not fair.
Barney: No, you’re not fair. Didn’t anyone ever
teach you to take turns? You got to do the leaving last time. This time, you
stay here. I’m going.
Then I
add stage directions to pace the beats of the scene, so the “actors” can emphasize
or punctuate the spoken words:
Barney: (watching
Alicia for several seconds from his place by the bedroom door) If you’d sit
down for ten seconds, maybe I’d know what you’re talking about.
Alicia: (folds
two shirts and places them in the suitcase before speaking) Why should I
believe a word out of you?
Barney: Because I’m your husband. Or did you forget
that in New York too?
Alicia: (stops
moving, stares straight ahead) That’s not fair.
Barney: No, you’re not fair. Didn’t anyone ever
teach you to take turns? You got to do the leaving last time. (opens door, stops) This time, you stay
here. I’m going.
This
helps me frame a mental stage performance of the scene. Finally, I can rewrite
the scene in fiction format:
Barney
watched Alicia yank clothes off hangers. “If you’d sit down for ten seconds, maybe
I’d know what you’re talking about.”
She
folded two shirts and placed them in the suitcase before speaking. “Why should
I believe a word out of you?”
“Because
I’m your husband. Or did you forget that in New York too?”
Alicia
didn’t move. “That’s not fair.”
“No,
you’re not fair. Didn’t anyone ever teach you to take turns? You got to do the
leaving last time.” He yanked the door open. “This time, you stay here. I’m
going.”
In my
mind’s theatre, not only can I see and hear the beats of the scene, I can feel
the tension between characters that is generated by the pacing. Ultimately, what
we crave in dialogue is that tension; mentally directing the scene before
composing it allows the writer to heighten emotion, emphasize conflict, and
deepen characterization all at once.
Jenn
Brisendine’s essays have appeared in many print and online venues, including Rosebud, The Pedestrian, LiteraryMama,
and the anthology The
Maternal Is Political (Seal Press); she is also a contributor to Many
Genres, One Craft: Lessons in Writing Popular Fiction. A former high
school English teacher, she currently works as a freelance editor and writer. Jenn
lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, two sons, and a petite 100-pound Great
Dane. At her blog, she reviews great writing guides and
discusses the quest for balance in the writing life.