Writer Home Alone. Uh-oh.

Things to DO when you have the house to yourself for two days and you could really use those hours to write and bulldoze your desk: Screen calls, banish email, ignore the Tweets, hide the TV remote, forget the laundry, order dinner in, leave the Times in the driveway, set the alarm, put on clothes too decrepit to wear out of the house, order dinner in, rent only one DVD your spouse would refuse to watch if he/she were there, tell no close friends or relatives you are alone so they won't do the kind thing and invite you for dinner, and certainly do not contemplate reading even the first page of that thick shiny new book on the night table.

Wish me luck.