Stuff My Writing Students Say, Part 13

"I'm doing the assignments and reading, taking in all the feedback, and doing a lot of revising and new writing based on all of that, but I just don't know if my work is improving. I keep waiting for the 'aha' moment and it's not coming."

     Aha. 
     There's a short, and I believe, simple answer to this, and I'm not being flip or glib:  Stop waiting. 
     Really, how often do moments of epiphany, instances of "Oh now I get it!" come along in precisely that fashion, at just the time when you anticipated, hoped, planned for?  Mostly, sudden moments of realization, striking occurrences of forehead-thumping, Oprah-esque "aha" moments sneak up on us. When we don't expect them. 
     But that's too simple of an answer to the frustrated writing student who is working diligently, with an open mind, and willing spirit. 
     I have been in this student's shoes. Many times. I can recall writing workshop experiences, where I had willingly signed up for the tough love of a stellar mentor, and been working hard, trying this, experimenting with that on the page…and waiting for the clouds to part and a balloon caption to appear over my head: "Oh now I get it. Look how much better my writing is now. Wow." 
     This never happened. Only later was I able to trace back a dramatic shift in my work to a precise discussion in a workshop. Over the years, I have found that the "wow" moments don't typically occur in the middle of a workshop series, class, seminar, or any other organized writing improvement situation. And now that I'm on the other side of the table (at least sometimes), I understand why. 
     When writers are trying their best to absorb, to push, to step out of the comfort zone, to experiment on the page, to read and expand their knowledge base about craft and story and technique, to grow as writers – that's not really the ideal time to step back, stroke one's chin, examine their newest pages, and wonder: Have I really gotten significantly better in the last few weeks?
     Because there's too much going on, then. The brain is in overdrive trying to assimilate all the new information, input, and ideas. We're evaluating suggestions and advice, trying out new approaches. We look here at the craft readings and ponder their importance to our work. Then we look over there at the instructor's and/or peer feedback and wonder if we agree with it or not, and how much. We study published works to observe the masters at work on the page and consider, How did she do that? What can I learn from it?
     We are in motion on many fronts – which is all good – but it's a lot to take in, and there often isn't enough mental energy, or time, to understand how it's all going to shake out, eventually. It's tiring for the mind. Then there's the compressed deadline nature of most classes/workshops which demand that writers start, revise, and finish a piece of work in less time than is ideal. 
     In my experience – and I'm talking here in broad terms that include not only writing but also  motherhood, marriage, career, relationships – the aha moments come in two general forms. Either they hit me all at once at an unexpected and always later time:  in the shower hours after the marathon writing session, while awaking the morning after an argument, during the long drive home from the much-anticipated event…or a few weeks or months after a writing workshop/conference/class ends.  
       Or else they creep along, small and quiet at first, and then build speed and grow in size and shape until one day I realize (with very little fanfare) that some new writing craft understanding, a technique, angle, method, mindset, approach, skill or proficiency has worked its way onto my pages.  And that's when it occurs to me: Oh, look at that. Now I see. Aha. 
     This has been borne out by a number of writing students and editing/coaching clients who contact me weeks or months after we've finished our time together to let me know that what we were working on during a class or editing project has all fallen into place. I had a breakthrough, they say. "Suddenly" it all makes sense. 
     So my advice for the writer I quoted at the top of this post, the one who said this about two weeks into a four-week class is this:  Corner-turning, breakthroughs, aha moments have their own agenda, and it's not yours. Relax. Stop waiting. Your job now is to take it all in, to read, to study, to try, to experiment, to think. 
     Call me in six to eight weeks.

You can read the first 12 installments of the Stuff My Writing Students Say series here.

Friday Fridge Clean-Out: Links for Writers, Feb. 10, 2012 Edition

►Fans of Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way -- there's an app for that.

►Over at Fiction Writers Review, challenging advice on fiction writing, yearning, and being fearless, from Robert Olen Butler.

►For those who want to do more magazine writing, check out this excellent instructional post on The Science (Not Art) of the Magazine Pitch, from a Stanford University journalism professor. (via @LaurieAbkemeier)

►In a guest post on Jane Friedman's blog, C.S. Lakin has helpful tips for choosing a freelance editor. Since I do that work myself, I'm in favor of prospective clients putting a lot of thought into the selection process, and agree with her advice for a test-drive: "If you’ve found someone who might be the right editor for you, but you’re still hesitant, hire her to edit a few chapters. See how it goes—not just the editing but the overall communication and support."

►I am occasionally asked to suggest online poetry classes that, like mine for creative nonfiction, last only a few weeks, are affordable, and provide a lot of feedback. A poet friend I trust recommends the offerings at The Rooster Moans Poetry Cooperative.

►Poet and essayist Sheila Squillante, on saying goodbye -- to the just-folded MFA program where she earned a degree and once worked, to a writer friend, and more. 

►Northern New Jersey nonfiction writers might want to check out this ArtsQuest  one-day memoir writing conference in Bethlehem, PA on April 28.

►The ASJA (American Society of Journalists and Authors) is hosting a two-hour seminar on "Writing About Your Mother and/or Father," in Manhattan (also available via live webcast) on March 6.

Have a great weekend!

Writing and Prompt(ness)

Money changes everything.
Just like in the movies.
Pie.
Small, medium, large.

Huh? (No, it's not bad poetry.)

The above are four of the daily writing prompts I sent to writers since the start of 2010. In early January, I offered to send anyone who signed up, a daily writing prompt, which I ordinarily send out only to those writers enrolled in one of my online or Rutgers classes.

It was almost always fun for me to think up the prompts, and it was always fun to hear back from writers about how they used (or avoided) them. What I didn't anticipate was how much the experience of choosing and sending out the prompts would impact my own writing. Looking back of course, how could I have expected otherwise? Every time I do anything for another writer – offer feedback, teach a lesson, share tips – I always get something in return; any energy I put out into the writing world invariably finds it way back in to my own work. An idea. A phrase. A new, unexpected angle. And I'm grateful for that.

Aside from the simple – but not to be dismissed – act of helping me start my work day, knowing I had about five dozen people waiting for the prompt each morning was a small happy thrill for me. Now, don't get me wrong. I never imagined for a minute that dozens of people were really waiting to hear from me, fingers poised on the keyboard, hanging on the inspiration my prompt may provide. Please. I know writers have lots of other things to do, and I realize many of those prompt emails may have been (purposely or haphazardly) ignored. That's okay, because even very early on I heard from enough writers who did find them useful, and that kept me going. When it was over, I asked participants to share their experiences.

Carrie Wilson Link wrote to say: "Two great months of prompts; they've been wonderful, and very helpful. I'm using the various prompts that really jump out at me to form my chapter outline for the newest book I'm working on, or rather, conceiving!"

Andrea explained: "I only wrote from one of them (pie), and saved all the rest for 'some day when I have more time,' until this past weekend when the person who was supposed to lead my writing group bailed last minute. When no one stepped up, I quickly opened the three most recent prompt emails, scribbled them in my notebook, and we did three free-writes using your prompts. Thanks for saving the day!"

From another writer: "I mostly saved the prompts for the future, because my writing time these days is devoted to a novel revision. But there was one prompt that, combined with a setting I've been playing around with and something about the novel I was reading at the time, sparked a short story idea. I haven't written it yet, but I've gotten some notes down and am hoping to draft the story soon."

Ann Newman, a retired teacher and writing student, had this to say: "As a student new to creative non-fiction I found the prompts provided a much needed 'kick in the pants' to write every day. I wrote the daily prompt at the top of a clean page in my notebook, left the notebook open on the kitchen table while I brewed my morning coffee, and returned, mug in hand, and started to write. Sometimes the prompt wiggled its way into my entry, other times the prompt just inspired me to recall an event or person. There were days I couldn't respond as deeply, but I still wrote the prompt on a clean page in my notebook and wrote short triggers off of the prompt. I am now revisiting the prompts to see what stories I can 'mine'. There were prompts that didn't resonate for me, so I wrote them in list form on a page in the back of my notebook for future reference."

A translator who received the prompts explained she was "putting the prompts in a 'writing' folder to use sometime. The only thing that really works to start me writing seems to be deadlines."

Along the way, I also published what two of the prompt participants wrote in response to particular prompts (here and here).

Another writer wanted to know about my writing process for the prompts. In general, I wanted the prompts to be a varied assortment to increase the chances that even if one day's prompt – or a few in a row—didn't speak to a writer, there would be another, far different one, landing in his or her inbox soon. One day it might be a short sentence, usually one that can be taken several ways ( I know all about it.), or a phrase, often one I would probably delete in a piece of writing for being trite or overused, but which surprisingly makes a good prompt (the best of friends). Another day it might be a provocative verb (judged), a noun with the likelihood of rich associations (vows), or an adjective just as likely to evoke positive as negative feelings (free).

In fall of 2009, when I began sending prompts to students, I simply sat at the computer each morning and wrote something, anything. By January, when I was sending them out to a far larger group, I spent some time each weekend generating a list of a dozen possible prompts for the following week. Often it was something which had recently crossed my mind (what took so long?), desk (required reading), kitchen counter (report card), or patience threshold (read all directions before starting). Occasionally, one of my kids contributed an idea (please stay in line).

For February, I was in a more playful mood and wanted to experiment with a theme, so I wrote all the prompts in one sitting, taken from the lyrics of Michael Jackson songs, which I was researching for a future article – from one-word snippets (Butterflies) to longer phrases (should have seen it coming). For March's prompts, I sat down in front of one of my bookcases and wrote down the titles of books – novels (Lost and Found), memoirs (Without a Map), essay collections (Money Changes Everything), and poetry (We Didn't Come Here For This) – which suggested they might resonate.

Right now, I'm between classes (two weeks until both the Rutgers and online classes start up again), so I'm only sending prompts out to two private writing coaching clients, and not every day. In a few days, however, I'll start a new list. I'll need eight weeks worth total, and am leaning toward using a theme again. (Sure, suggestions are welcome.)

Later in the year – perhaps summer time when many writers have more time to write – I'm thinking of offering the prompt project again to anyone who wishes to sign up. In the meantime, when I find myself floundering in my own writing, I flip open my prompt notebook and find one that I've usually forgotten all about. Yesterday, it was: The boys in the band. You see, once when I was a teenager on vacation in Miami Beach…..

Do writers really need support? Discuss.

Yesterday I had a telephone conversation with a writer who has been accepted for a demanding writing workshop. Before I could say congratulations, he confessed that he was wavering because before he signs on he wants to be sure he's going to have the support he needs at home.

Ahem.

I hope I got across my feeling on this, which is: writers must manage to keep writing, support or no support. Despite what those around us think or do or say. Truth is, even the most well-meaning friend, spouse or other relative, who thinks they are being "supportive" will often say or do or imply just the very thing which derails us.

So why let a thing like support get in the way? As for unsupportive folks, please ignore them and carry on.

And, I also recalled that I had posted something about this very thing last year. I thought it could use repeating. You can find that post: Writers' Complaint Department: Stress and the Support System, here.

Friday Fridge Clean-Out: October 10th Edition

Let's get right to the Friday links.

► Peter Selgin, novelist, essayist, editor of the food-themed literary journal Alimentum, and writing teacher extraordinaire, offers a free critique on a first page of a work in progress. Though posted anonymously, it does go up on his blog, so others can learn too. Or maybe you'd rather just sign up for Peter's weeklong workshop in Vitorchiano, Italy instead? Yeah, me too.

► Anyone interested in poetry in New Jersey, will want to bookmark the New Jersey Poets & Poetry Blog, where Anthony Buccino (also known as the man who clearly never sleeps), lists readings, festivals, open mics, classes, new books by NJ poets – and all other news a Garden State poet or poetry lover might need.

► When you have a few minutes (you know, in between your day job and your writing time), read Emily St. John Mandel's pragmatic and elegant essay over at The Millions, so aptly titled, Working the Double Shift.

► Women's Memoirs is a site I just discovered. And it's of interest to, well, women who are writing memoirs.

► The Southern Festival of Books starts today and runs through Sunday in Nashville. A few writers I'd want to hear from who are on the huge agenda: Jacquelyn Mitchard, Dr. Peri Klass, Rick Bragg, Karen McElmurray, Jill McCorkle. At the Festival's website, author podcasts are also available from previous years (scroll down a bit on the page for the link).


► New Englanders, the Boston Book Festival is October 24. As of now, there are still spots in the free morning Jump Start Your Writing session, sponsored by Grub Street.

► While I haven't researched it deeply, this listing of 50 online courses – many free, and some listed at major universities -- may be a good resource for those who need to learn to write for the web.


► I haven't had much time this week to explore it, but I'm eager to see what folks think about the Huffington Post's new Books News and Opinion section (or, to call it by its webby name: the HuffPo's book vertical…which means, uh, book section). Check it out.

► Hofstra University has a reading series, open to the public. And Patricia Hampl is in town next week. Who knew?


► Lit Drift. Good posts. Every single day.

►And finally, Sidney, British Columbia, Canada. Population: 1,500. Bookstores: 30. Really

Have a great weekend.

Friday Fridge Clean-Out: Writerly Links for Your Weekend

Here's some of what caught my eye this week.

+ Editor Unleashed's 25 Best Writing Blogs 2009 – five in each of five categories. (I didn't make the final list, but appreciated the nomination and votes!) Bookmark this for days when you need a little inspiration, a little commiseration, a little advice, maybe a little kick in the butt.

+ If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know I'm a big fan of essay collections. So I'm enjoying the short excerpts and other material on the blog for P.S. What I Didn't Say. Unsent Letters to Our Female Friends, edited by Megan McMorris.

+ Some good tips for revising one's own work, via Natalie Whipple's blog.

+ Lots of TV concepts and scripts purchased by networks never make it to the screen. Let's hope this one, a comedy titled "Open Books," and based in part on my favorite editor-turned-agent, does.

+ Nathan Bransford, agent-blogger, compiled this terrific glossary of publishing industry terms.

+ This mix of writing workshops, offered through the Writers Circle in Warwick, RI, looks affordable and has an admirable teacher list.

+ Finally (and funnily) one screenwriter articulates the ultimate response to passing acquaintances who ask him to read and critique their work, gratis. Brace yourself.

Have a great weekend.

Friday Fridge Clean-Out: Hot August Writes

Today’s list of links I liked lately. Enjoy.

• My friend and former MFA classmate Kerry Herlihy wrote the Modern Love essay in last Sunday’s New York Times, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. (Okay, I’d be more thrilled if it were me, but I screamed out loud while alone in my office when I got the news a few weeks ago). On the blog of another mutual MFA classmate, Kerry describes how she nailed the acceptance, and its aftermath.

• Short stories seem suited to today’s shorter attention spans, right? Not according to the traditional publishing industry, and this piece (and all the comments) asks why not, and ventures a few guesses.

• Not busy over the upcoming Labor Day weekend? Maybe the International 3-day Novel Writing event is for you.

• Mothers (and fathers) who wish to participate in an online workshop focused on writing about parenthood would do well to check out this class, taught by Susan Ito, creative nonfiction editor at Literary Mama (and a generous, smart and funny gal).

• The Poets & Writers Maureen Egan Writers’ Exchange Contest, which moves from state to state, will reach my state in 2010 – New Jersey fiction writers and poets are eligible (deadline Dec. 1, 2009).

• Would you accept, and even be happy about, a payment of $30 for one of your creative works to appear in Time magazine? Apparently that’s what happened when the media giant paid for a cover photograph a little while back.

• France’s version of the blog-to-memoir-to-movie-to-second book deal. Ka-ching. And, good for her.• I’ve said this often: I’m not a huge fan of “balance.” Maybe because I’m not all that skilled at it. Yet I admire anyone – especially a writer-mother with a full time day job – who is trying anew to make it happen.

• Excellent writing prompts, tips, exercises over here.

• Harriet Brown’s next book is going to be a family memoir about dealing with her daughter’s anorexia and recovery. She’s posted a draft of her prologue here, and welcomes comments, particularly from those who have experience with the subject matter.

• It’s all about the story, says this writer. No matter what.

•And finally, I can’t nominate my own blog (well I could, but I feel a bit smarmy doing so), but if you think this blog is helpful for writers, you could do the deed.


Have a great weekend.


Coming soon on the blog -- an interview with Sue William Silverman on writing memoir.

When all Writers are Welcome. Then what?

I do the occasional gratis talk or presentation about creative writing at libraries, community centers, and other places. There is no money in it, the audience will be small (usually about a dozen folks), and it takes as much of my time and mental energy to prepare and present these talks as it does to do so for a (paid) class or seminar. But I have my reasons.

Recently, I gave a talk at my local library titled, Creative Writing: Making it Stick, and promised to talk about developing a writing habit, motivation, process, writers block, the art of rewriting and other topics which frequently derail the newer writer, the writer without benefit of a writing group, and the writer who is not sure whether what they are doing can even be called writing. Fourteen people registered and nine arrived on a rainy Monday morning for the 90 minute session.

I asked participants to talk about what they were working on and what was holding them back in their writing endeavors.

Participants one and two: a 40-years-married couple, recently retired.
Husband: At my brother's funeral, everyone was laughing their heads off during the eulogies because my brother was such a funny guy. I thought, I should write this stuff down, maybe write a book of stories about all the funny things he did and said.
Wife: We started working on it together and it's fun. He dictates and I record it, then we go over it together.
They asked great questions which opened up a lively and rich discussion: "How can I make sure anyone will want to read about someone else's life? What makes a personal story interesting to others?" They took notes. They stayed after the session ended and asked more questions. I got a terrific sense that this was not going to be one of those retired couples who drive one another around the bend. On the way out, they checked out a book about writing and a memoir of short humorous essays. I saw them holding hands on the way to their car.

Participant three: Retired paralegal with decades years of hilariously unlikely observations about life in that otherwise stuffy industry. She needs organizational help, wants to shed her tendency to write it right the first time, and thinks she hasn't got time to write an entire book anyway. She's visibly intrigued over a few relatively routine writing suggestions I make about how to get a first draft down on paper (and why it's okay for it to be so awful her former attorney boss would have fired her for producing anything quite so crappy), how to turn some of her otherwise off-limits time into writing time, and my suggestion that she group her stories according to theme or decade or situation. Few things measure up to the feeling of seeing light bulbs go on in the eyes of anyone who has come to you for help.

Participant four: Someone who took one of my creative nonfiction classes last Fall. She has the personal essayist's quiet gift for the telling detail. Her short pieces about life in the 1940s, and today, are exquisite charms. I've encouraged her to write more. She arrives with a bulging notebook, questions about revision, and that look. You know that look? The one which says, everything I take in, everything I see, think about and observe, is getting filed away and may show up somewhere, sometime, on the page. That look which says I'm listening, but I’m also already somewhere else, way inside my head, working with words, playing with phrases, intrigued by ideas. I love that look in a writer. One day I feel certain I will be reading her pieces somewhere other than at the library. Or maybe not; she is not so much interested in publication, as much as she is excited about working on her craft (huzzah!).

I like to think I helped at least that particular group of writers that morning. But maybe not Participants Five, Six and Seven, though: the grumbling old gentleman who wanted to talk (and talk and talk) about his poetry (any why he refuses to write it down); the woman who writes archly conservative political rants and felt ill treated when submitting to newspaper editors; and the self-published author of four romance novels hoping I could to interest an agent.

It had said on the flyer for the class, all writers welcome. And while it was fleetingly tempting to pass over the demands of this second group, I take it as a challenge to find something to offer everyone. So at the end of the session, I invited the elderly man to recite one poem – and he had us all laughing and nodding. I suggested to the political writer that she research right-leaning websites and tossed out the names of two to get her started. As for the romance writer, I directed her to a few agent resource sites and advised against sending copies of all four books along with her cover letter.

Sometimes, even weeks or months later, I hear from participants, which is almost always terrific (except when they ask me to edit 50 pages for free). But mostly, silence is okay too. I just take it to mean they are all busy writing. That may be just an illusion I use to keep myself going. That's okay too.

Seven Habits of (Not Necessarily Highly) Effective Writers

So, I am preparing notes for a seminar this week on the subject of overcoming common obstacles to creating and maintaining a writing routine. As I look over my topic headings, I'm tempted to take a short-hand, back-handed approach. For example:

Finding Time to Write: If you can find time to do the laundry, watch TV, gossip, browse YouTube, and talk about how much you really do want to write, you can find time to write.

Writer's Block: Ever heard of plumber's block? Accountant's block? Knitter's block? Playoff-watching block? Golfer's block? Get over it. How? You write.

Quieting Your Self Censor: Find a fellow writer working in the same genre, someone more experienced, who will read your work and when necessary, use the word bullshit a lot. Listen. Rewrite.

Getting Support: Might not happen with those you want it from the most. Write anyway. Look elsewhere for support. Don't wait to find it.

Improving Your Writing: Write. Read. Write. Read. Write. Get instruction. Get feedback. Rewrite. Read. Rewrite. Read. Rewrite. Repeat as necessary.

Getting From Idea to the Page: Write the idea(s) down. Any time, any place, any idea. On a piece of paper. Or a screen. Voila.

Establishing a Writing Routine: Write, beginning today. Repeat tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. See a pattern here?

I don't mean to sound flippant. And of course, I won't say these things to anyone who is interested enough in writing to come to a seminar about forging a creative writing habit. It's not as if I think the answers to these real writing dilemmas are quite so simple or obvious. They're not. Each and every writer, or would-be writer, or wannabe writer, or tentative writer, has to figure much of it out solo. Writing is the ultimate in on-the-"job" training. For the new writer, of course, there is a lot of value in listening to advice from those a bit, or a lot, further down the road. So I'm planning to offer lots of ideas, options, suggestions, tips and alternatives. I want to help as many people who want to write, to get writing.

Still, I find myself thinking that what I really want to say – and maybe I can find a diplomatic, encouraging way to do so – is, don't make more of this than it is. Don't romanticize writing. Or put it in the category of some mystical communion that only happens between muse and channel, some mysterious other-wordly thing to which only select individuals have access. Of course there is some of that. But only a very little of that. And only sometimes. And mostly, not when you desperately want it to materialize. Mostly the recipe is this: Read. Write. Learn the craft. Repeat. That recipe won't necessarily make you a great writer. But if your "problem" is that you can't get started, or feel blocked, or wonder if can write anything at all, the recipe holds up.

I'll have lots of handouts and will talk for an hour about creating the time and the mental and physical space to write. About finding writing organizations and conferences and online resources. About writing prompts and writing exercises and books for writers. About the value of writing groups and attending readings and getting feedback. About some routines, habits, and tricks that work for accomplished writers when they have trouble putting words on the page. I hope it all helps.

But then I wonder if I should tell the attendees: You can go home and think about all of it and read all of the handouts for an hour. Or you can write for an hour.

UPCOMING EVENTS

FUTURE CLASSES -- January & February 2010

In-Person Class --
Filling the Blank Page: Creative Writing Boot Camp for Procrastinators and Busy People. Get moving or keep going on that writing project(s). Boost your productivity, develop and maintain a regular writing habit, deal with stumbling blocks and mental clutter, expand your craft, build a writing plan you can stick to, and learn to enjoy the writing process. Combines instruction, discussion, suggested reading, in-class exercises, weekly assignments, support, and feedback on your work.

Four Monday mornings, Jan. 11, 25, Feb. 1, 15. $110. Cedar Grove, NJ. Registration deadline: Dec. 22. Pay in full by Dec. 12 & get one free critique. Register/questions to email address below.

Online Class --
Memoir and Personal Essay: Four by Four. Four keys of creative nonfiction in four weeks:
- Beginnings & Endings
- A Strong "I" Narrator
- Powerful Small Details
- Dynamic Dialogue

Work on writing high-impact openings and strong endings; creating a narrator readers will want to follow around; identifying and using small details to big effect; and crafting dialogue that's authentic and provides narrative momentum. Whether writing a full length memoir, shorter memoir pieces, or any kind of personal essay, you'll learn and try new skills to dramatically enhance your prose. Each week, there will be a new lesson to read, examples to study, and writing assignments to turn in for comment and feedback from the instructor. Plus, a private online forum to interact with others enrolled in the class.

Session I -January 4 - 31 OR Session II -February 1 - 28. $125
Registration deadline: Dec. 18. Pay in full by Dec. 12 and get one free critique.

For information and to register: LisaRomeoWrites (at) gmail (dot) com. Specify if you want to mail a check or be invoiced via PayPal.

If you want to talk by phone, please send me your number and a convenient time to reach you. Thanks.